"I Think About Killing Myself Everyday"

[This week’s guest Dream Act guest post is written by Lily, an undocumented student whose life took another course when her parents left behind a good life to come to the United States for her sibling.  Visit Dreamactivist.org to find out how you can help pass the Dream Act and give students like Lily an opportunity to contribute to this country].

Back home my Dad was a pilot. My mom was a stay-at-home mother and was treated like a queen. I have a brother who is 14 months older than me. I always knew he was different. When playing hide and seek he could never find anyone, so I remember being loud on purpose so that he would find me. It was obvious he had learning problems, and one day we found out his teachers were beating him in school.

My parents had decided to come to California in order for my brother to have something to do through out his days, because it was obvious he could no longer attend school back home. My parents told my brother and I that we were going on vacation (which we always did.) I was 8 at the time and my brother was 9.

We got on a plane and came to California and we were enrolled in school immediately. I knew we weren’t going back anytime soon. Life was hard. My parents hired an attorney to help us get our green cards. Little did we know that this guy was fake and not even an attorney. Things just took a turn for the worse from there.

My dad who was a pilot was now a truck driver. My mom started doing hair and has been ever since. Her legs are covered in veins, and she goes to work from 8 am sometimes until 11 pm everyday. My Dad doesn’t have a job anymore and is depressed. He is a brilliant man who went to school in Oxford, became a pilot and for the past 4 years he has been sitting on the couch. I cry for him all the time.

I am now 24. I do not have an I.D., I do not have a driver’s license. I cannot work. I think about killing myself everyday. They only thing that stops me is my brother. How could I leave him? He has no one. I go to bed crying. I wake up crying. I feel as though I was robbed. My life was stolen from me. I feel like I could have been at a higher place in my life at age 24. it drives me crazy thinking about it. I still cannot believe our lives ended up this way. It wasn’t suppose to happen this way. I feel like a loser and feel that my entire life was a mistake.

We lost everything because my parents had a disabled child. All we wanted was to help a member of our family.

(Photo credit: CSUN DREAMS to be Heard)