“I Can’t Afford to Be Sick”

I am finally realizing the true meaning of that phrase. My X-ray reports are back, pneumonia in my lungs confirmed and I have another appoinment tomorrow since I am no better than I was last week.

An inhaler and 10 capsules of anti-biotics cost $192. This is WITH health insurance and we are not counting the cost of labs, physician visit and X-rays yet. Mom decided to buy me the Mucinex DM, which was also prescribed. How can I possibly ask her to pay for the rest of my health care at this point especially since I am probably ill due to my work and all the sickening forces around me every time I leave my home?

A fellow in the struggle from Indiana says that stress and trauma also cause and then, prolong illness. It’s probably true–I deal with traumatic things like having to sit through a whole day with mostly white men who could care less about our immigration struggles and then, hear from brown men about how “those gays” don’t get it, before they start ranking oppressions. Enough. I didn’t even get an apology from the organizers, let alone a reimbursement. I wish I could sue someone or take out a petition, but oppression is so institutionalized.

That’s what I get for almost killing myself in New York. So I guess I better make it worth dying for, right? We’ll have a bonfire for the destruction and death of CIR 2010 soon. We hope a phoenix will rise from the ashes–a truly progressive movement that restores fairness and justice in our immigration system and provides family unity for everyone.

Personally, Canada might need to be postponed, which makes me really sad because I am craving to get out of this place. I have some job offers lined up for me and some I am waiting to hear back on soon.  It’s about time someone said “to hell with” and handed me a job like I deserve. I am on my way to the very top and I’ll always remember who supported and helped me through this tough period and who hesitated to come forward even when I was vastly over-qualified for a particular position.

In the meantime, I have multiple diplomas but I can’t afford health care. I’ll have to get refills or new meds on my credit card (funny how they will give me a credit card in this country but not a long-overdue green card). And then I have to try not to worry about finances, the $800 in LLC taxes I need to pay next month and drive myself more ill in the process.

It’s a cycle of destruction and it needs to stop.