Now Stealing American Spouses Too

As if stealing American jobs was not enough, illegal me was offered a full-time unpaid offer to marry my wonderful, beautiful, sweet U.S. citizen partner today.

This was inspired, in part, by the decision of the Supreme Court to extend my agony by granting certioari in the government’s almost-frivolous appeal in Mayorkas v. de Osorio but also the decision to strike down DOMA as unconstitutional. One way or another, the SCOTUS had to decide whether I get my green card through my mother or my spouse.

It was written. Since I am in California and she is in Washington D.C. right now, it came out of left field on Google Hangout. Then a missed call. I asked on Facebook whether someone would marry an undocuqueer, and she said “ME!” Several times, might I add.

Well, the status message doesn’t count as a offer, but an invitation to make offers. Excuse Contracts bar exam prep swimming in my head. I took a break from furious tweeting and saw her proposal on my iPad, via Talktone app! And I finally replied via GChat “Yes.” But wait, then she recanted. “Real proposals should be in person.” Too late, “I love you, and I already accepted.”

And then since it was on Facebook and Twitter, it must be true! Thanks, social media.

We told our parents. Our friends and family members are happier than us.

Now the trolls can say “they come here to steal our jobs and our wives….”

In all seriousness, marriage equality is the floor. I would ideally want to see the day that assimilating to the white, heterosexual paradigm is not the arbiter for rights and freedoms. I am very deeply, personally, anti-marriage as a way of granting people civil rights. We both are, which is why all of this is weird, and new territory. Ideally, we wouldn’t need to be married in order to live together and in order for me to adjust status to a green card holder.

Alas, we live in an imperfect world in imperfect times.

The Supreme Court decision to strike down Section 3 of DOMA as unconstitutional comes as a boon for so many same-sex bi-national couples similarly situated, who have been separated and borne the brunt of discriminatory immigration laws for far too long. Now, as soon as USCIS gives word and without needing any sort of regulations, any bona-fide marriage performed in a place that recognizes same-sex marriage should qualify a foreign-born spouse of a U.S. citizen for a green card. Undocumented persons who entered and stayed in the U.S. without inspection would still need hardship waivers to get a green card through marriage to a U.S. citizen. And tomorrow at the AILA Conference, I will corner USCIS Director, Alejandro Mayorkas, and extract a promise that he start stamping green cards for same-sex bi-national couples starting yesterday.

I love you Lindsay Schubiner. Of course, I’ll marry you whenever, wherever and however you want.