I’m a perpetual migrant
a forever foreigner
I run
from connections
I run
from feelings
I run from anything
that gives life meaning.

I’m a perpetual migrant
a forever foreigner
We make America great
And in return for our greatness
We get so much hate.

I’m a perpetual migrant
a forever foreigner
They told me migration was beautiful
Then why is it so painful?

I’m a perpetual migrant
a forever foreigner
With undocumented feelings
Easier to leave and dream
than to stay and remain bleeding

I’m a perpetual migrant
a forever foreigner
I run and
stay running.

Plantar fasciitis

Every day is an exercise in walking on shattered glass. Today was much worse.

My feet cannot carry my growing weight. That may or may not be a metaphor.

My heels are constantly throbbing. Sometimes the pain is more intense than other times.

Plantar fasciitis renders me immobile.
It strikes at the very core of my existence.

I am restless. I always have to keep moving forward. If I am on a bus or train and it stops moving, I try to get out. If there is a traffic jam, I try to find another way forward instead of sitting around and waiting for it to clear up. I’ll jump off a bridge and swim if I need to get to where I need to go. And I’d rather break down a wall in my way than negotiate with it.

I don’t know how to sit still and wait.

Stillness scares me; Limbo is petrifying.
The mind wanders when the body cannot move, wandering into a deep dark black hole,
A phantom zone.

I feel the most pain when I am still.

Movement is my savior. To move is to agitate,
to rouse, to stir, to trigger, to migrate.

I lost the ability to run last year.

I can’t walk right now,
so I will just crawl around.

I will just keep pressing forward.

Placid Pool

I am a placid pool
You look at me,
speaking volumes with your eyes
I want to drown in them
Even when your eyes seem to drown within me.

You chatter non-stop, from nonsense to sense to more nonsense,
I listen quietly, never interrupting your onslaught,
Instead, I hear what you don’t say, feel what you can’t express,
understand what you cannot yet comprehend.

Your gentle whisper like a cool breeze
upon touching me
causes thousands of ripples
spreading far and wide
I feel warm in this wintry breeze.

Your warm hands caress me lovingly
whirlwinds of sensations after sensations churn up inside
I lose my mind, pleading silently that you would find and use it
afraid of these feelings raging through me, yet even more afraid that they would cease

You ignore my half-hearted pleas
teasing me with soft and light kisses
I simply quiver under your touch, unable to move and resist
shivering, even as you paint my nakedness with hot kisses

Tracing contours and digging through crevices
strong undercurrents beneath the surface,
the ripples are invaded and taken over by violent waves and splashes,
seemingly relentless and unstoppable,
and yet even with happy climax comes a painful withdrawal.

I become still and stagnant,
my life and heart a placid pool,
such that no ripples, no sign of disturbance is registered
save for the one you began with your one look.
I am a placid pool.